Over the three years plus I have been writing this blog, I haven't approached the subject--the very important subject--of sex, when you live with pain.
I imagine this will climb to the top of my most read posts, simply because it has the word 'sex' in the title.
Don't get too excited.
From a medical perspective, we are taught that it is healthy in many forms, to have a 'good' or 'normal' sex life. Sex helps relieve symptoms of depression. Sex raises the levels of natural endorphin's. Sex relieves stress. Sex boosts immunity. Sex burns calories. ( Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more.) Sex boosts self-esteem. Sex improves Cardiovascular health. Sex improves intimacy. Sex reduces Prostate Cancer risk. Sex helps you sleep better. Sex strengthens pelvic floor muscles. And my all time favorite: (No drum roll needed here).........
Sex Reduces Pain.
(All above statements are based on medical research and clinical studies performed.*)
So....something that is fun, enjoyable, with all those benefits, also reducing what we who live with Chronic Pain are challenged with every day, if that something is available to us; why wouldn't we hop right on that?
The answer is blended into the above. Sex reduces pain. Having pain affects the ability to want sex, and then have sex.
Think of the times that you have been in pain. What was on your mind? Was it daydreaming of the beautiful nurse that just came in to poke and prod you in embarrassing places? Thinking your wife outta get busy while you are hanging on the couch in pain from that fall at work? While you have a headache beating you on the head like a sledgehammer, you are normally not planning your next move with that cute guy at work.
Now imagine that you deal with that pain every single day of your life. Life goes on after that accident, the surgery, the fall, that month-long flu. And when pain is part of life, pain then mixes with every single aspect of our lives. Including, our sex lives.
The desire for sex is apparent when people feel their best. The prettiest, the most handsome. Feeling confident is not only a bonus of a great sex life, but it is also a necessary for that great sex life to happen!
Thinking about sex when living a life with pain is interesting. I am not saying it is interesting to think about sex if you also have Chronic Pain; instead, that the entire subject is interesting, and from what I have learned in my own life, and speaking to others in my situation (and of course to my wonderful friends) I think that those of us in pain ought to have just as satisfying of a sex life as the people who don't have pain. I am not going to focus on the negative that can happen in relationships sexually when dealing with pain.
I want to start a new way of thinking about ourselves ladies, (especially women-- but of course the men apply too here) who live with pain, and the way that we see ourselves in a sensual and sexual way. We shouldn't have to bow out of the play before it's over! We deserve to be thought of as the beautiful, strong, smart women that we are; with determination beyond understanding. I think that is sexy! But for that to happen, we need to feel that special something about ourselves, it is deep inside, every woman knows what I am talking about. That switch that can turn on and the pain can then fade into the background.
We don't have to be on the Mae West couch, with unreal expectations and maybe even a bit of fear. We simply need to be ourselves. For the challenges we are handed every day we open our eyes, is something that those who don't have pain like this, just can not understand, and to realize that "Today, again, I awake, and the first thing I feel is pain." our pain is a very big task we must attend to throughout the day. (Along with doing all the 'normal' things in life.) But we do all of it in pain. All of it. Including sex. (By the way, I am not judging or saying that is wrong to not understand what it's like to live with pain. It's impossible unless the person has experienced ongoing pain themselves.)
So, we are now feeling good about ourselves, seeing the strength and passion for living that we hold, and we are feeling sexy. But the back/neck/leg/head/arm hurts. A lot. We have the opportunity, we have the desire, and we have pain.
Now what do we do?
Next post will focus on feeling sexy, despite pain; and achieving a fulfilling sex life. This is a subject that we shouldn't hide under the rug or shy away from discussing. We have the right, the need, and the benefits to gain, and nothing to lose. ~~Let's talk about sex!~~~
Gentle Hugs.... Stay strong~ ~If just for today~
*Source: WebMD
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Being a Patient Patient
When you use Intrathecal drug delivery therapy, your pain medication is delivered directly to the fluid around the spinal cord, called the “intrathecal space,” via a drug pump. The drug pump is connected to a thin, flexible catheter. Both the pump and the catheter are fully implanted under the skin.
The medications that are used in IDDS are strictly limited to those that your physician decides will be the most effective in your particular situation. Morphine is the most common medication used in Intrathecal drug delivery systems. Just a fraction (1/300th) of the Oral Morphine used by the patient, can be used in the implanted pump. This much, much smaller dose is effective in pain relief through this method of delivering the medication. This is a huge benefit of the pump, and the side-effects that are caused by long-term Oral Morphine use can be life-altering, and extremely hard to deal with; an IDDS will eliminate those nasty effects. The usual side-effects of Oral Morphine are not apparent in the patient with an implanted drug system, seeing the greatly reduced dosage that can be used with this method of delivery. Sometimes, Baclofen, a muscle relaxer, is used in the pump- to treat spasticity.
With all this good news regarding the reduced side effects, reduced amounts of medication necessary, and no more oral meds for pain (although BTP medications may still have to be available for break-through pain, and if severe spasms are present, and no Baclofen is going to be used in the pump, an oral muscle relaxer may also be needed) the question is, "When?"
BE PATIENT!!!
That has been the ongoing question over the past year plus. WHEN? Well, with all the red tape, the waiting, the ongoing need for repeat authorizations, the paperwork, the phone calls; those are what add up to a year-- very quickly.
Now, I have been informed that we are still waiting for a response from the medical group for another Pain Center/Hospital, or another doctor, that will be the ones to implant the pump. This must be referral/authorization number 9? Possibly #10.
This is when the enormous amounts of patience needed comes into play. That is another deep strength that many of us undergoing medical treatment must learn to aquire. We learn to be patient, to realize that nothing happens in a day, and that there is no reason to get all bent out of shape when things don't go according to our timeline or desires. If we were already a patient person, we learn how to become an even more patient patient.
Also I was told that the IPA denied my request to keep seeing the Pain Management doctor (that I have been seeing for over 7 years,) who no longer is contracted with the IPA, and that if I want to keep seeing him for Pain Management while I await the pump, I must 'Do an Appeal."
Alright!!
I have to now fight just to keep my medical care in a state of Continuity? To stay with the doctor who has dedicated many hours in my care? Keeping me in a functional level of pain- through careful and time-tested combinations of medications, carefully-chosen exercises, and various other modalities to reduce my pain level. He is familiar with my spine; familiar with me!! This is ridiculous. But....I am not backing down. If that is what they need, some more paperwork to go through, more busy-work for everyone, so they all have a job to do and can get a paycheck--then let's do it! I LOVE a challenge!! And I won't back down.
I ask of my readers one simple thing: that you keep my Morphine Pump authorization in your prayers. I do believe in the power of prayer, when there are many voices, there is much heard. If you don't pray, I ask that you put out positive thoughts to Mother Universe for this pump trial to be granted to me. It's not like I am asking for a damn bottle of pills that is utterly ridiculous to ask for--I am asking for something that will reduce the amount of medication I take!! Something that will allow me (I can only hope) to return to nursing and be back with my beloved Hospice patients, helping them from this life as gently as I can, with the utmost amount of respect and kindness I hold in my heart.
It just shouldn't be so damn hard.
I will continue writing with deeper information on the IDDS.
Gentle Hugs------<3
Stay strong~
.........just for today~
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Tips For Dealing With People In Pain
1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can’t count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.
2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It’s like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don’t take it personally, or think that they are stupid.
4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn’t normally bother you, seem too much.
5. Patience may seem short. We can’t wait in a long line; can’t wait for a long drawn out conversation.
6. Don’t always ask “how are you” unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.
7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.
8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).
10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.
11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body’s ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
12. We may not have a good “reason” for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized “disease”. That does not reduce the pain, – it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was posted on the site: Life In Pain (dot org)
The author is unknown, and this list is fantastic as one to print out and send to our family, friends, and those that love us.
Education is THE KEY to helping others understand Chronic Pain. Any bit of explanation of how we feel, how we may feel, and what our lives are really all about is always welcome. Even others who suffer from Pain daily, need some education. If a person is new to the world of daily pain, they may feel like they are totally alone, and cannot explain how they feel to their family and loved ones, and need some assistance in learning about their particular disease. This will in turn help the patient to become more educated, which is always a plus, as they can then pass that knowledge onto the people in their lives.
Gentle Hugs....
Stay strong~ ~just for today~
2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It’s like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don’t take it personally, or think that they are stupid.
4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn’t normally bother you, seem too much.
5. Patience may seem short. We can’t wait in a long line; can’t wait for a long drawn out conversation.
6. Don’t always ask “how are you” unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.
7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.
8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).
10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.
11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body’s ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
12. We may not have a good “reason” for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized “disease”. That does not reduce the pain, – it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was posted on the site: Life In Pain (dot org)
The author is unknown, and this list is fantastic as one to print out and send to our family, friends, and those that love us.
Education is THE KEY to helping others understand Chronic Pain. Any bit of explanation of how we feel, how we may feel, and what our lives are really all about is always welcome. Even others who suffer from Pain daily, need some education. If a person is new to the world of daily pain, they may feel like they are totally alone, and cannot explain how they feel to their family and loved ones, and need some assistance in learning about their particular disease. This will in turn help the patient to become more educated, which is always a plus, as they can then pass that knowledge onto the people in their lives.
Gentle Hugs....
Stay strong~ ~just for today~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
