In a daily struggle with pain, feeling beat down is very common, and can affect us all negatively. Taking the time to be still, to assess the way you are actually living your life, will also pay off in the sensation and level of pain experienced. Take a look at your choices of how your life in pain is expressed. And remember, Chronic Pain is along for the ride--each day. These days add up (oh so quickly) and this is your life.
Attitude is about 90% of the ability to enjoy life. If your life has a constant companion called pain, being positive is the only way to make it through.
Interesting, Chronic Pain. As a Hospice nurse, I have seen many who were experiencing pain. These amazing people knew that they were spending their last months here. I know there are people out there who are battling many diseases, such as cancer, brutal even in it's name, and can be likewise in it's pain.
I have always written honestly, and lately I have been contemplating those in worse situations than mine. (This is obvious to all of us who deal with any illness) I have never said here that I am to be pitied or am I asking for sorrow from others. Actually, it is the complete opposite. Yet my heart breaks for others. All the time. This empathy also keeps things in focus.
In staying positive in attitude, I can gather enough strength through my own battle with pain, to write and pass to others how much I care and hope that they, too, can access this attitude and see the beauty that lies in wait. Focusing on anything but the pain, acts as another deterrent, a tool to use when you have lost yourself. Lost yourself IN yourself! Focus outwards.
Negativity only brings with it negative thoughts. Just as we have seen how getting proper medical care for Chronic Pain can leave you feeling down, depressed, as if no one cares. It is so easy, so very simple, to follow that train of thought and down you go, along with the thoughts. Thinking about yourself. I am not being a Pollyanna here, knowing firsthand how chronic pain can affect nearly every aspect of life.
Having been at the bottom of depression, I refused to return. Only I can take charge of how I choose to deal with the situation handed to me. A twisted, mangled spine? Me? But I can walk! I can still enjoy my life! But I 'Look So Good'! It is rare for me to tell anyone that just because they can't see it, I hurt. ALL the time. That is reserved for the people that know me well, and make it comfortable for me to speak openly about what is going on with my spine, how I am doing with the lowered medications, how my pain levels are, and I feel the caring and true interest from them.
Why yak on about how I hurt? No one really wants to hear complaining. I believe in honesty (and wish it was that easy and simple for others) but I choose not to include that part of me quite as openly as I am with most other subjects. I support the fact that hiding the subject of Chronic Pain is not the way to go about life, I am speaking of how I have chosen to deal with the subject in my interactions with most people. It's kind of like, "Don't call me, I'll call you", in that I don't bring it up, but I will be 100% honest if asked.
It is here that I remember how much I am blessed to be here. I am alive. I wasn't ejected out the doors when the van rolled over. I am walking. I am very content in life. Whatever road took me here, part of it was my journey in pain. Many years I have had this companion. Always a partner, always along for the ride.
Nature's beauty, the daily newness of this world, wonderful people that weave into my path, pull my thoughts outward, and I decide that my pain is not going to keep me down. I refused that a long time ago. Brush away the negative thoughts and try to see that you alone, carry the ability deep within you, to choose how you are going to view the world and how you fit into it, pain or not.
I am writing in pain right now. Most of the words you read on my site were written in pain. Yet that does not have to immediately be followed by anger, self-pity, negativity, or giving up. I have dealt with pain for years. Every damn day. Oh, I went through all the negative steps. I went down. Way down.
Never to return again to that way of thinking--with great determination and passion for my own life and well-being, I pulled myself up and out of that world. Be aware of who surrounds you, for negativity is not what you want in life at this juncture. Want to feel happier? Hang with those who make you laugh, or better yet, laugh at your jokes! Realize that those who we love are watching us, our children especially, and as they still learn through this excellent passive learning method, isn't it better for everyone if you took the reins and blazed the path for happier times?
You will feel as if the world opened up. Just for you. The sunsets have always been a special time, and now is no different, watching each one with wonder. Hard to believe there was a time in which I really didn't give a crap one way or the other if the sun was even going to rise.
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| So. Cal Sunset Photo credit: Shauna Harrelson |
A sunrise to a Chronic Pain patient may feel like just another day of misery. It does not have to be so! Regardless of the etiology of the pain, there is no rule that those in pain need to look, act, or sound like they are hurting. Possibly mean and grouchy; angry at all the wrong people. When letting go of the concept that the invisible pain needs to be outwardly shown, attempting to prove something I suppose (since there is usually no apparent Medical Equipment) everything changes.
I have been told how strong I am, how much passion I have in sharing my life in pain, helping others cope with their lives in pain, and this is rounded off with medical professionals sharing with me that some of the most resilient people they know are those living with Chronic Pain. We must learn how to deal on a daily basis with pain, serious pain, for life. Quite a daunting challenge- no? And on top of this coping, we are better off to do it all in a positive manner. Now that all sounds a bit overwhelming, and this takes time. I had to go through the darkness to come into the light. I had to be angry before I could be happy. I had to feel sorry for myself before I could come to a place of peace.
Finding the peace is the journey. And every journey has it's unexpected moments. Have a good time getting there, for life is what happens while we're busy making other plans. (John Lennon)
Gentle Hugs....
Hi Shauna; Glad to hear from you. I've been getting some comments from others with SCS still struggling with their pain. I am careful to encourage in a way that doesn't make promises. I've had mine off for a week due to it firing off some nerves that make it painful. No encouragement from my doctor. He wants to go back in and move the leads up some. I'm taking my time to make a decision. The thought of another failure just depresses me more. Thanks for the encouraging words. I am a fighter and will continue to carry on. My readers tell me I give them hope and that it helps them to know someone else understands (truly) what they feel and how challenging it is to cope with.
ReplyDeleteLittle do they know I get a lot of my strength from you. Thanks for another great post. Take care my friend.
Shauna, As you know I don't suffer from chronic pain, and hope I never do. Your ability to carry on is amazing, and an inspiration. I watched my Mom suffer with dibilatating pain at the end of her life. It broke my heart. You are awesome.
ReplyDeletemo