The month of January was like a big storm that just wouldn't pass.
Early in the month, I fell off a chair with no back, flat on my spine onto the concrete, taking my entire weight straight onto the spine, and posterior ribs. I didn't feel anything from it until the 2nd morning. And Oh My God it wasn't good when I did wake and feel that fall.
Between many other things going on in life; I wasn't able to get an Xray, and I kept on doing way more than I should have.
After a couple of weeks, I was still hurting in the spine and posterior ribs. One thing about Chronic Pain that I find extremely interesting, is that those of us with constant pain tend to not seek treatment as fast as we should, mainly because we are so used to pain, and don't run to the doctor every time we hurt.
But this was different pain. ACUTE pain, not related to the other spinal issues that cause pain, but exacerbated the 'normal pain' many times over.
Near the end of the month, I was getting up from the floor, trying to carefully pull myself up by using a chair, put all my weight onto my right leg, and was stepping up; when...POP!! The sound was horrible, loud, and deep in my knee. The same knee that was injured severely in the rollover accident in 1976, the same knee that needed a huge surgery (4 in 1 Patellaplasty) in my senior year, the same knee that needed surgery again in 2002.
When I was seen at the ER, the Dr. braced the knee, and told me to use crutches. There were no breaks, the knee had severe swelling, and an unknown injury that requires an MRI, and an Orthopedist. Gone are the days of going to the ER and getting what needs to be done to diagnose an injury, as in an MRI. If something is a non-life-threatening emergency, but still needs immediate attention; then get used to waiting for any type of medical care.
So, picture a person who suffers from Chronic Pain in the spine, falling hard onto said spine, possibly cracking vertebrae, and further herniating the 12 Thoracic levels already herniated, most likely breaking ribs, and right on that injuries tail, dealing with another acute injury causing acute pain, and to top it off, on crutches. Not a good situation for me.
I am waiting for the authorization to go through for the MRI, and to see an Ortho. In the meantime, the same 'old' spine pain must be addressed; there is no rest for the injured, the hurting. And add acute pain on top of chronic pain, and you get a very messed up body.
As usual, I try to stay as positive as possible, and I am thankful for those in my life that truly care, who are there when the chips are down.
I am writing the next post that is about the URGENT NEED FOR EDUCATION regarding Chronic Pain.
The ever-judging, always-right, extremely close-minded and still uneducated idiots never cease to amaze me....I am amazed at the positive way I am able to think without allowing those jerks to get to me. It still makes me sad, for I know that I am not alone in my journey of pain, and the resulting ridicule, judgmental attitudes, etc., will continue to exist; my empathy is with you all who also deal with this very unnecessary part of our life in pain.
Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
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I am so so sorry you have had such an horrendous January. So many times you write of your feelings and experience of pain and I think good grief you have taken the words from my mouth. I must admit I admire your tenacity the capability to remain positive. I admit that in the dark recesses of my mind sometimes I despair really despair that another day is to be faced and yearn for perhaps ten minutes where I don't have a pain anywhere at all in my body. Gone are the days where I would ask for a day or a week without it, now I'd really like ten minutes. I do think that those who experience ongoing chronic pain with episodes of acute pain, although that always makes me laugh in a way as I am not entirely sure that those who are not used to pain would describe the pain that we have that is ongoing as acute pain. ie-chronic pain which we know means pain that has gone on for more than a short period of time not as some believe chronic in terms of really bad really bad pain even though it is really bad pain. If that makes any sense I know what I mean. It would be helpful if everyone were to have a handbook given to them who comes in contact with people like us if you like a short synopsis of medical terminolgy related to pain so that we could refer to our pain and they would understand. A big ask I know.
ReplyDeletechronic is ongoing pain.
acute pain is pain that happens, often as a result of an injury but it passes etc....
Good old neuropathic pain. Referred pain, chronic pain as a result of an acute injury which has not healed as it should - (good old ehlers danlos in my case), acute pain, pain from muscle spams spasmodic pain? or does that mean intermittent, I forget. Oh and emotional pain from living with it all plus all the rest I can't quite work out how to describe or have simply forgotten the name of as after years of living with pain it all sort of mingles together! Oh and pain in the veritable a%^e from the people you describe who are the ever judging etc.
I agree entirely with you that those who have a chronic conidition often don't seek prompt medical attention when they should. I sometimes say to OH, that I am sure some people unused to the level of pain I have would call an ambulance if they had just one of the pains I have daily. I say daily what I really mean is 24 hourly, 7 days a week, 12 months a year perhaps I should just say relentless pain.
I also think it must make us stronger for some unknown reason, as despite my moments of despair that I mention on the whole I too remain positive I guess I have no choice. Yes I have a whole life that I could regret,I just cannot waste my scarce resources wondering about the what ifs and if onlys. The times I do get irritated is when my dear relative as she did today gave me the example of the polio sufferor who has swum the channel that she saw today at a celebration of the birth of Charles Dickens and how marvelous it is that some disabled people can overcome their disabilities and others not. Ouch, was that a personal dig or am I paranoid. I will leave you to decide.
So I love to come here no judgement, able to talk of pain without guilt, the reality of it.
In the UK due to the recession many personal blogs are very stilted at the moment because of welfare reform and a general unwillingness to talk of things too personally because of the feeling that big brother may be watching, all of this from people who have nothing to hide in the first place, except that they are feeling guiltly for their pain, disability, ill health.
So Shauna thank you for this sanctuary,your wise words and dedicated research.A place where I can come and just sigh a big sigh of relief that pain is not a taboo subject, not because of the above mentioned more because I feel these days that friends and family are bored of my pain, they are tired of hearing what hurts etc, somedays I am in agony and I don't say a thing about it.
Here we can talk about it. What a relief.
Gentle hugs back and please don't sit on anymore backless chairs.
So sorry to hear about how bad your January has been. I have just started reading your site and really like it. I live with chronic pain as well. I was diagnosed with CRPS 6 yrs ago. January wasn't such a great month for me either, as I had to go through 4 surgeries to complete my spinal implant. I look forward to reading more of your site.
ReplyDeleteDear Shauna,
ReplyDeletePlease search the internet for some physicians in your area that practice PRP (Platelet-Rich Plasma). You will find it far superior to what is common practice in the medical profession and is minimally invasive. Good luck!
I am sorry to read that you have been plagued by extra painful difficulties! They are the absolute worst. Sending hugs and hope that you heal quickly xx
ReplyDeleteAcheLois,
ReplyDeleteYou write so beautifully, as you do on your blog. You write the words that all chronic pain patients can relate to, we feel those words in our bodies, we feel the same about those that try to undercut our attempt to not be in pain. And you are SO right that anyone that had our pain wold certainly think of it as acute pain and seek instant medical attention...I think of our pain as constant acute pain. The words Chronic Pain seem to indicate that the pain is not as 'strong' as acute pain; but actually it is ongoing acute pain; simply called Chronic Pain. I am so glad that you feel safe here, that was my original intention for this blog. Take care my friend, and btw, did we ever figure out emails for each other? Can you try the email form I have up by my picture? I would love to write outside of here also.
Ross: You had 4 surgeries in a month? What kind of spinal implant did you get? The spinal cord stimulator or a intrathecal drug delivery pump? (I just answered my own question when I found your blog and read some entries--the Stimulator.) Thank you for your thoughts and caring words. My thoughts are always with those that suffer in pain. I sent you a message through your blog email and hope to join in by telling my story for your new Tuesday feature--and I agree 100% that we all support each other by telling our stories, to know we are NOT alone!! Thanks Ross.
Scott: I have never heard of this treatment you speak of, but will look into it, I am always open to new and trial treatments. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Heyyy Ms. Haley!! Thanks for the thoughts and hugs...it has been a tough 6 weeks, but with the encouragement of beloved family, friends, and my online friends, I know it will all get better, and will be taken care of when it is all meant to be. (Although insurance hoops take a bit too long to jump through..) Gentle Hugs back at ya doll....
Thanks for all your comments, and as always, Gentle Hugs----<3
Hi Shauna,
ReplyDeleteSorry it has been so long since I have visited you on here and caught up ~ I got very bad leading up to having my baby that I was totally bedridden and in agony, and had to be taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital that was equipped to deal with all my 'issues' lol. I gave birth to our fourth baby, Jonathan, on the 12th of December 2011 :D
I am now feeling well enough to get back into working on my blog again and thought I would drop by to see how things were for you... I am so sorry all of this extra pain and injury has happened to you :( You are so right when you said that as chronic pain patients, we are so used to being in pain that we can put off seeking further medical help. It also doesn't help that we are usually taking an assortment of pain management medicines, and as we are describing what we take every day - the doctors eyes start glazing over and they put us in a mental 'pigeon hole'. Sometimes we are treated as weak-willed whiners who just don't like feeling a little pain, and we are just bringing more 'niggling' things to them in order to get sympathy/more painkillers/increased doses etc. I have been treated like a 'junkie' during my pregnancy when I arrived at the emergency ward at a local hospital (before I moved house last Nov), and it was reamrked to me "Well, you aren't exactly opiod naive, are you?" They refused me a bed, refused to give me any more pain relief than what I already took, and told me that I was pregnant and all of these medicines would cause etc etc... I was devestated, in agony and sent home :(
I have been told many times by other health care workers (of course not my usual ones) that if I just got my tubes tied and never got pregnant again (this started when I was only 25, and I am only turning 28 this year!) then I wouldn't have these long 'acute' chronic pain attacks from the weight and hormones of the baby. Also, if I just 'lost some weight', then the pain would be so much better... Again, these people have absolutely no idea what it is like to be in so much pain every day, deal with side effects of some of the pain meds and to not be able to do all your daily life tasks - let alone add exercise so that you can lose weight...
Ohhh I could go on and on and on... sorry to keep blabbing on, lol. I totally agree with you that there is an urgent need for education in regards to chronic pain - not just for the community at large, but for the very doctors, specialists, physios and other health care workers who are supposed to be the very ones who should understand our pain, limitations and difficulties better than any others! This is why I want to get back into working on www.chronicpainandintimacy.com , so that I can hopefully touch more peoples lives and help them - and hopefully health care workers may be able to learn as well. Chronic pain is truly a 'silent illness', but hopefully we can help get these messages out there.
I will pray for you hun, take care, and please let us know how it all goes <3 xo
Oh, Shauna, I am so sorry you had such a traumatic January. I think you are so right that those of us who suffer from chronic pain are so less likely to seek help for acute pain, because we deal with pain on a daily basis. I wonder if shame also has something to do with it? I find that other people have hard time understanding how fibromyalgia affects me. I did find a great resource at http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-pain I think that a lot of what chronic pain suffers go through is so much more than physical. There is an emotional part as well, and it's important to discuss it.
ReplyDeleteAs a chronic back pain patient myself I would like any advice you may have on sleeping comfortably? I have been having a real hard time sleeping through the night.
ReplyDelete