In the 17+ years of pain I have endured since my first back surgery, and for years before that-- during the undiagnosed and misdiagnosed reasons for my pain since I was in the Cheerleader hazing accident in High School; I have seen a strength inside that I never knew existed. I've been a strong-minded woman my whole life, which means that I believe in telling my life truths, pushing through the pain--just to live, and absolutely amazing myself when I make myself do things like get ready and leave for a semi-lengthy drive to go pick up my prescriptions.
Today was that day for me. I was amazed at what I did, considering the past 5 days I have been dealing with a lot of high pain levels that left me so exhausted after 3 days straight; I slept through an entire day. Between the physical toll pain takes on the body, plus the draining effects of medication; equals a very tired body and mind. I'm surprised my head was so together today as laying down to sleep last night hurt so much, that after an hour I decided to get up again, and from there just stayed up. This is a recipe for disaster, missing an entire night of sleep while still continuing to experience high pain levels, and on top of that, needing to get out and deal with what even 'normies' call a hassle.
I am certainly not tooting my own horn here. I am tooting a celebratory horn for all my fellow pain sufferers that continue to fight on through the pain, to accomplish life's 'chores' that must be done that day. When there is no one to help. When we are left to use our natural strength. There is a 'wordless' feeling I have when I feel this strength kick in. Today that feeling kicked into high gear as I was dressing, knowing I should be taking it easy, yet I had no choice but to do what lay in front of me.
Chronic Pain gives those of us who suffer daily, an opportunity to view ourselves as extremely strong and competent humans. We may go out before the world with a false smile, to simply make everything 'easier', and smiling seems to push pain a little more in the background. On the outside, the smile=strength. On the inside, strength is carrying us through extremely painful moments. On the inside--the pain.
You can pat yourself on the back a bit more please. Let yourself know that you are proud of handling your life in strength; with strength. Doing the things that must be done on your own, and with active, gnawing, deep, piercing, strangling, sword-like, constant pain. Now that deserves a horn toot or two!
We who experience Chronic Pain, have built into us a certain very special attribute. Strength. I truly believe that it was bestowed upon us when our lives turned 180 degrees, leading us down this path of pain. We have been blessed with something wonderful. Recognize this in yourself, and give yourself as many kudos and horn toots as possible.
We walk an unusual path. We have developed many coping mechanisms. Being present, being in the moment, and being strong, will serve us to our benefit. Since we truly live daily in our pain, many times by the second; this has given us a highly unusual way of living in the moment--something that many people strive to do in their lives, reading books like 'The Tao of Pooh' to try and achieve this which we were given the ability to do. We do it naturally. We live in TRUTH. In the MOMENT. We are STRONG.
It's in there--you know this in your heart.
Gentle Hugs...and may your day be a tolerable pain day.....of course no pain is my desire for all....but I know who I am writing to and we all know better. ;-D
Friday, May 14, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
