Asking For Help

Asking for help doesn't always mean you get what you think is right for you, but it sets the wheels in motion.

In 2013 my body and mind had reached a breaking point.  My chronic spine pain was not responding to the medications my doctor had me on.  I had moved, and was finally seeing a pain management physician, but the medications were not effective.  Combined with the other symptoms of anxiety, severe insomnia, rapid heart rate, brain fog and the fact I was in an abusive relationship, it was all too much to bear.

I needed help and got a referral to a place they assured me would help with the mental issues, and said they would also help with the insomnia and my pain. That was a tall order but I was desperate.   

I entered the facility with mixed emotions.  From the start I was unsure if I belonged there, many patients were there for substance abuse issues.  A couple patients were there for mental by disorders so I decided to stay and get some help.  Surely they would help me with my severe insomnia.

I didn't see a doctor right away and was given Vistaril for sleep.  Vistaril is an antihistamine and anti-emetic with properties that can make you drowsy.  I didn't need drowsy, I needed a hammer to knock me out!  I told them the drug name that I took at home and asked if they could increase it.  They were no help and I laid in bed at night just like at home, staring at the ceiling.  I thought, heck I could do this at home in my comfy bed!  

Meanwhile, my anxiety was through the roof, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.  I had major brain fog and sat through the group sessions not caring or really understanding what anyone was saying.

One day, I felt like I was going to blow up with all the symptoms reaching a breaking point.  I told the nurse I needed to go to the hospital, and when I got there, I saw an ER doctor that ordered a thyroid Ultrasound.  My confused mind didn't understand why, but I went along with it.  

Three days later she called me at home.  "Shauna, you have 4 masses on your thyroid, one quite large, I cannot rule out carcinoma at this time; you need to get to a specialist right away!"  She was my Angel in a lab coat. 

Next:  Thyroid biopsy and Total Thyroidectomy...                  

  

Gentle Hugs....and a tolerable pain day.